Monday, 7 October 2013

Back Again - Change And Meeting New People

Alright alright, I've done it again. Promised to start regularly updating, before going silent for several weeks. I'm kicking myself for doing it, but I just feel so busy all the time! I know I'm really probably not as busy as I think I am, but it's really difficult to remember to do everything; I've said before how I have difficulty organising myself. I think I'm starting to get the hang of it! At least I hope I am, I've got two different projects to do this year...

This will probably be kept as a pretty short post, but I think it's time for an update at least. I have several more posts lined up (in a furious fit of organisation I typed out about 20 post titles a month ago), so we should be good to go for a while.

So, the update. The last few weeks have been really weird. I've already learned so much more about myself, and other people. At first, coming back to college was surreal, because a lot of the people were different and some of my old friends have dropped out. It wasn't bad as such, just different. It sort of threw me off a bit, and I wasn't concentrating as well as I normally do.

 And that's when I realised how change affects me. It's always been said that people with Asperger's don't deal well with change, and I've always been confused by it. 'Don't deal well?', I thought, 'I changed from school to college without missing a beat'. But this year has made me realise, it's not starting something new that affects me strangely, it's changes in things that already exist. I had all of last year in college, and the change this year is what's affected me. From the viewpoint of observing my own actions, it's really quite interesting to experience, but as a person I'd really rather not have it happen again. Maybe I'll write a whole post on it some time.

Once I'd gotten over the change, my friend groups started to shift massively. Some really unexpected things have happened; trying to help a friend resulted in a massive and prolonged argument; somehow some people who I thought had started to hate me started talking to me again; and the relations between my friends have changed to the point where it's hard to recognise them anymore. Again, as an observer it's good to watch and learn from this, but I really hate it hasppening. I just want everyone to understand each other and be friends!

Which brings me onto my last point, my new friends. My best friend of the last ten years has a habit of somehow, inexplicably, meeting new people somewhere, who I then end up meeting. Without him I guarantee I wouldn't have most of the friends I have, and I'm very grateful for him. Despite all the times I make fun of him (sorry!). So, this time, he's met a girl, and won't shut up about her. But one day, he spoke to this girl's best friend. It turns out that he thinks this friend is very similar to me, and introduces us. Let's just say that, since then,my phone has needed to be on constant charge to avoid running out of battery due to the constant conversations. It's great! Yet I guarantee that, without my best friend, and without being able to use messages rather than having to be introduced in person, I'd never have spoken to this really awesome girl. And that is why I'm so lucky to live in the world I do, with the people I know. Without you guys, my life would be pretty much impossible. I still have a lot to learn about socialising, I mean, I can barely talk to people without being introducved first...

I'll be back soon with another post,


PS, this ended up a bit longer than it was supposed to, got a bit carried away...

PPS, girl, you know who you are :P And I know you'll read this, because I'm about to send you a link to it. (Technically, when you read this I'll already have sent it)

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